Monday, April 30, 2012

Family Planning by Rachel Oliver

“A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.”  
                                                                      ~ John Steinbeck

My mother had me, her first child, when she was 25 years old. As 25 came and went in my life, without a husband or children, I realized my family was going to look a little different than the family I grew up in. I met James when I was 30, and happily said “I do” a few weeks before my 32nd birthday.
"Each mom’s journey
is as unique as the
individual mom is herself."

As we rounded our first anniversary, we dumped the birth control and decided to see what would happen. We’d had lots of talks about how many kids we wanted and were pretty confident in our timeline. As the summer came and went with no positive sign on that pregnancy test, we became a little more proactive in our attempts. Finally it happened, we were pregnant! A week after we found out, I miscarried. We mourned our loss and, with our doctor’s approval, jumped back into trying. Two months later we celebrated another positive test (well, three really … just to make sure!). But a few months later, we were again met with a devastating loss.

My journey to motherhood probably doesn’t look like yours, and it certainly hasn’t been what I planned. Each mom’s journey is as unique as the individual mom is herself with twists and turns, up and downs. I may not know where mine will go from here, but I know it isn’t over. And I have great hope for the future because I know my loving God is the one mapping it out.

Dear God, you know the desires of my heart. Help me trust in your plans for me and hold me close through whatever my journey holds. Amen. 

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