Monday, January 23, 2012

The Ugly Duckling by Rachel Oliver, expectant mother

I may only be 12 weeks pregnant, but mommy fears have already crept into my brain. How bad is labor and delivery? What if I can’t breastfeed? Will I be a bad mom if I put my child in daycare? What if there’s something wrong with my baby? I dismiss most with a simple, I’ll deal with that if it happens and focus on trusting God that I am the mother he created for this baby. But one very superficial fear keeps popping up.

What if I have a homely child?
I know it’s silly, but let me set the stage. My brother and his wife have two gorgeous kiddos with an expectedly-gorgeous third on the way. People actually comment on how beautiful they are when they’re out in public. That’s a lot to live up to.
"Charm is deceptive,
and beauty is fleeting."

My husband and I are attractive enough people and, most likely, our child will be a beautifully-average child who will capture my heart immediately … and yet I fret. Fret is a good word for it, because to say I worry puts too much emphasis on it. I sometimes worry that I won’t be as good of a mom as I could or should be. I might worry that my child will make bad choices. But I fret that I will have an unattractive child.

And then I am reminded in Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting.” My mom told me that while I was in her womb she would pray that God would grant me a gentle spirit. I think that’s probably a better use of my time – praying for a child whose spirit is beautifully loving. 

Dear God, thank you for the blessing of children. Please fill my child with your beautiful goodness. Give him eyes to see those who are hurting and in need and a heart that moves him to help.

No comments:

Post a Comment