Intergenerational Strategy by Margot Starbuck, mom of three

Before I had kids, I had all sorts of big ideas about how I’d strap them to my back and we’d hop on my scooter and serve the world’s marginalized peoples. Once I had kids, I could barely find time to slip out of my nightshirt, let alone leave the house. Those in rural Africa and America’s inner cities were just going to have to do without me for … the next eighteen years or so.
And while I’m not making any transatlantic voyages for a while, I did start to notice folks who were marginalized in my own community. In fact, I could see Miss Betty’s living room from my front porch. Because her family lived at a distance, Miss Betty was hungry to see children. As God opened my eyes, I started to notice all sorts of ways to serve right under my own nose.

-Elderly Miss Virginia, on a route I often power-walked, sat outside everyday both due to a lack of air-conditioning and also to have some human contact.


-A senior center opened up downtown near the school my oldest attended.


-Everyday, at noontime, aging Mr. and Mrs. Dunham traveled fifteen miles to visit their daughter, with multiple disabilities, who was institutionalized.

"You’ll find plenty of opportunities
to move with Jesus
toward the ones he loves."

It became clear pretty quickly that there was a whole population of “hidden ones,” marginalized especially by age and ability, who would welcome human affection. Here are some age-appropriate ideas for intergenerational relationships:

1. Take advantage of your first child’s early infancy, before separation anxiety sets in, to visit care facilities where older adults can hold your child.

2. Give your 6-12 month old “floor time,” with favorite toys and mobile at the home of an elderly neighbor while you chat.

3. If a neighbor spends time on a front porch, give your preschooler a bottle of bubbles and let her play in the yard.


With a little holy imagination, you’ll find plenty of opportunities to move with Jesus toward the ones he loves.
 
 

Lord, as I mother, I long to engage with the world you love. Show me the places where my child might dispel loneliness right in my neighborhood.

Margot Starbuck is a writer and speaker who lives in North Carolina. You can connect with her at MargotStarbuck.com.
Her book, Small Things with Great Love: Adventures in Loving Your Neighbor, explores more of these simple ways to touch your community.

Hear Me, See Me by Ashley Larkin, mom of three

I stood knee-deep in grime-filled clothes that smelled like a campfire while the girls played in their bedroom. We'd just returned from a camping trip, so while my husband and second-born finished unloading, I unpacked bags and started laundry.
Though my heart was happy, my body felt drained by the weekend of ground-sleeping, waking throughout the night, setting up and breaking down camp. Not to mention the everyday tasks of mothering that followed me into camp.

While camping, I was amazed to see what our kids could do — carry 60-pound jugs of water from a hand pump and clean the dishes with barely any help from grownups. Wow, who knew?

"The truth is that my words
and actions do matter. I matter."

Back at home, I asked the girls to stop playing and complete one simple task: put dirty "camping pillowcases" in the laundry and replace them with clean ones. It soon became clear that the girls were ignoring me or hadn't heard me. I strained to explain myself calmly, ending with, "Camping is fun, but it's also hard work. We need everybody to chip in."

Moments later, I turned from laundry piles to see my oldest lying on her bed, my youngest rolling on the floor, task undone. Tightness filled my throat while anger pushed through to a full force yell: Just do what I've asked! Do you see what I'm doing? Why do I have to yell for you to pay attention?

Almost instantly, I felt sick for losing my temper. Within minutes, I apologized, but not before recognizing my hurt and wrong beliefs: My words are unimportant. My efforts are unappreciated. I'm not worth paying attention to.
Though my approach was wrong, and I've got better tools in my mothering box, the truth is that my words and actions do matter. I matter. So I will continue to show my children not only the value of work, but also of self-control and, when needed, consequences.
  

God, please give me wisdom to instill responsibility in my children. Even when I mess up, thank you that you hear every word and see every task. I am grateful you are the God who sees. Amen.

Ashley writes about the beauty of living fully awake to everyday moments on her blog, Draw Near. She and her husband, Michael, are parents to three daughters, ages 10, 7 and 4, and live in Portland, Oregon.